Love and music

Another postcard that I picked up.

I don't even know what it means - except that it's a combination of nice words and ideas.

In what sense does love last forever? Only in the sense that God's love does endure, and will endure forever. The beautiful thing about Christianity is that right at the core is the Trinity - a relational dynamic of pure love between three distinct persons. That's what I believe is at the centre of the universe, anyway.

In what sense does music last forever? I'm not convinced it does - although it seems biblically that the most appropriate response to God's magnificent and awe-inspiring glory is to sing. So maybe music hasn't lasted forever, but from now on into eternity, there will be jubilant and satisfying praise sung in God's presence.

Given that this postcard is advertising MSO performances of 'West Side Story' and 'Romeo and Juliet' though, I don't think this is what they had in mind. But it got me thinking...

Brunswick photo: Discarded TVs

On the way to school. During the last hard-waste collection, there were old TVs almost every 10 steps. It's not collection time at the moment. What will happen to them next?

Brunswick photo: fence weaving

Along the Upfield Bike Trail, near Safeway.

Brunswick photos: Free speech monument

Outside the Mechanics Institute on Sydney Road. Historically a significant site for freedom of speech protests.

The resurgence of craft

Craft seems to be experiencing a new wave of popularity, especially around my area. I've been pondering why this is.

I think there's a number of features of craft that align with urban culture. Craft is:

• Unique - moving away from mass-produced items to hand-made, one-of-a-kind, with all the associated quirks;
• Creative - art and self-expression are so highly valued in this culture;
• Self-sufficient - being able to sew, knit, crochet, mend clothes, etc, means that you're not as reliant on others;
• Eco-friendly - if you are crafty, there's so much more potential to re-fashion old items of clothes, or recycle vintage bedsheets or op-shop finds;
• Genuine - that is, a hand-crafted present takes a lot more thought and time than a purchased one - it reflects an added level of investment;
• Productive - a way of resting that is still useful and has something to show - this can be problematic, if we think that rest is only justified by what is produces - but also fun and can bring a nice satisfaction in completing something;
• Fostering of community - lots of my craft enthusiasm has been inspired by others. Friends have taught me to knit and crochet, given me hand-crafted presents, shown bags, talked about sewing projects, and I've spent many enjoyable hours sitting around casually with friends while crafting. It facilitates casual, low intensity time together.

There's probably other things, too, but that's what I thought of while hanging out the washing. This scarf is my latest craft project, which I finished this morning.

Brunswick photo: Rest peacefully

A side street off Sydney Road.

Mary Maclane 4: Fascination with darkness

Following on from my first,  second and third post about The Story of Mary Maclane by Herself:

Mary Maclane is fascinated by darkness. She's almost ecstatic at the thought of suicide, giving herself up to the dark power of the devil and destruction. Darkness and destruction are alluring, the idea thrills her - and this is the area that she suddenly is uncomfortable with her level of self-disclosure and vulnerability. There's something that she finds difficult to share with others - not like sexual exploits, dismissal of social customs or her opinions about other people. It's this desire that she feels she needs to hide, although throughout the play it's the main place she looks for happiness.

Once again, I see reflections of high school - how attractive darkness can be. It wasn't uncommon for people I knew to be depressed, moody, bleak, withdrawing, even suicidal. There was something exciting, seductive about it. The imagery of moths drawn to a flame - almost unable to resist although it's so destructive. When we were in bleak moods, we didn't necessarily want to be out of them. There's a sense in which it was a rejection of shallowness, superficiality, that ignored the meaningless and pain of life. It felt real to feel these things - so much more deep and honest than drifting along without reflection, superior to getting caught up in mundane life and pretending everything was okay.

Unlike some of the other things that I've written about in Mary Maclane, I don't think that a fascination with darkness can be turned around to be healthy or good. There are very, very few things that I think need to be rejected outright - even the worst things in our world are usually distortions of good things, and there is something that can be affirmed. Evil and darkness as a power seem to lead only to destruction.

A fundamental part of following Jesus is to reject Satan and all evil. It is to choose life - real life, with all its pain, mess and need for forgiveness - rather than death and destruction. It's the choice put again and again through the Bible: 'life and death, blessings and curses' (Deut 30:19); wisdom and life, folly and death (Proverbs 1-9); light and darkness (John).


What I'm not saying is that I reject being honest, or dealing with the reality of how life is, or shallowness and superficiality. I still think those are terrible, and that the church hasn't always had a good history of avoiding those things. But I am saying that you don't need to hold on to destructiveness in order to be real or happy, and you can't follow Jesus and Satan.

Brunswick photo: "I thought of you"

Art from RMIT? At the train crossing near Brunswick Baths.

Mary Maclane 3: Cold boiled potatoes

Following on from my first post and second post, about The Story of Mary Maclane by Herself:

Mary Maclane's joy at cold boiled potatoes runs as another theme through the play. She just can't get enough of them - she fantasizes about eating them with the devil when they get married and there's multiple songs about how wonderfully indulgent they are.

At one point, the actress has revealed more than she's comfortable with and is hiding from the audience - and it's only the prospect of cold boiled potatoes (that dropped from the sky into the narrator's hands) that entice her to come back.

She's convinced they're the one thing that God got right. (The only positive thing she says about him in most of the play.)

I feel like I resonated so much with this idea when I was a teenager. I have a memory of being completely depressed with everything in the world, and coming into our dining room. On the table was a bowl of green grapes - and as I ate them, I had a vivid feeling that the world couldn't be so bad if grapes existed in it, and maybe there were good things.

Part of me feels like this is a pretty indulgent, perspective-lacking way to think - my life has been so materially rich in so many ways, it's ungrateful to think that grapes were the only good thing to happen to me. But part of me thinks this is exactly right - that God made the world good, and there are lots of wonderful things in creation that we can look at and be reminded of his goodness.

So I enjoyed the cold boiled potatoes segment, but hope that my perspective is usually a bit healthier - I'm so much more thankful for many things that I rarely am reduced to that depressed feeling that everything is doom and gloom.

Mary Maclane 2: on being understood

Following on from my first post about The Story of Mary Maclane by Herself:

2) Mary Maclane catalogued a bunch of men she'd been with (and a woman or two as well), but ultimately her fantasy was to marry the devil. Throughout the play, she repeatedly called out, 'Kind devil, deliver me!' and listed things she wanted to be delivered from. She turned to the devil because she thought he was the only one who could understand her loneliness, her deep self-understanding, her misunderstood genius and her depth of passion.

It made me think about who understands me. Obviously Tim and my close friends do to some extent, but it wasn't her friends who were on view in this. She was talking about complete understanding - something I used to long for in my teenage years (quite desperately).

In recent years, I've found that when things are really hard, or I'm feeling some kind of pain really intensely, it's God who I've turned to and know that he understands. I felt sad that the Christianity of her day (and probably ours too) didn't present this picture of God: Jesus as the one who understands free-thinkers and radicals because he was the ultimate non-conformist, defying the religious authorities of his day to call them to account for their corruption and hypocrisy. Jesus as the one who understands the misunderstood because he was rejected and dismissed by his family and hometown, betrayed by a close friend, suffered innocently and was eventually killed for claiming that he was who he really was. It's God my Father who comprehends every detail about me because he created me, has seen all my experiences, thoughts, actions - he knows me better than I know myself. In my more intense moments, I have turned to words like these from Psalm 42 that express that intensity so evocatively:

 My soul is cast down within me;
        therefore I remember you...

     Deep calls to deep
        at the thunder of your cataracts;
    all your waves and your billows
        have gone over me.

In the end, the devil turns up and rejects Mary Maclane because she's so desperate and that's unattractive. After this, in a twist that surprised me a lot and wasn't anticipated at all in the play up to that people, she turns to God and although he doesn't answer her questions, there's an intimacy and peace that is refreshing after the mad frenzy of her fantasies about the devil.

Brunswick photo: Garage birds

Near Jewell Station, along the train line.

The Story of Mary Maclane by Herself

Tim and I were very generously offered tickets to see The Story of Mary Maclane by Herself last weekend. (Warning - if you're planning to go see it, you might not want to read below.)

I've been dwelling on it for a few days. Here's a brief description:

More than one hundred years ago, The Story of Mary MacLane set America aflame. A shocking confessional from a 19-year old girl who refused to succumb to the corset-bound prudery of her age, Mary’s scandalous memoir broke all the rules – and sold over 100,000 copies.

In some ways, it's a character study: self-expression from a passionate, desperate, lonely, intense, self-absorbed, honest, raw and ground-breaking woman. She's been described as 100 years before her time, and the parallels between her personality and what is now common in our society were distinctly highlighted. She was incredibly scandalous in her time, but today her sexual exploits and self-indulgence aren't particularly shocking.

I found myself resonating with some aspects of her personality - at least myself before I started following Jesus. I think now the same longings and desires are there, they're just met differently (and far more happily than hers). Here's a few thoughts - in a series of posts, to keep them short-ish:

1) I was sad to hear her repeatedly dismiss Christians, and especially Christian women.* She felt they were uptight, boring, mundane things and completely different to her passionate, honest and self-aware genius.

I wish the Christian women in her day had expressed their faith differently - although I acknowledge that it was a different culture and I don't want to judge my sisters! I think Christians, and Christian women, often have this reputation - prudish, boring, etc. I'm fortunate to know lots of funny, passionate, joyful, insightful, deep, real Christian women - but I think there's a danger of conforming and hiding honest, real experiences of life under a facade of what is 'proper' and 'right'.  I don't want to pretend to have it all together when the whole point of my faith is that I don't and I need help.

I love it when Christians are expressively passionate, without being loopy. When there's a depth of honesty and rawness that is obviously genuine and reflects their actual experience. I think we need more of this, and we need to communicate that following Jesus doesn't involve losing our personalities and individuality.

I'm also aware that sometimes the reason I'm not completely open and honest about things is to protect others (myself too, but I'm not focussing on that now!). There are things I just need to shut up about because they're not my secrets to tell, or it wouldn't be loving/loyal to speak. I find that hard because my preference is to share. Mary Maclane admits quite freely that she doesn't think of anyone but herself, so she isn't constrained at all by the desire to not slander others.


* I'll speak about the things the actress said as though Mary Maclane said them - it's based on her writing, and for the sake of these thoughts I'll assume it's a faithful representation!